on the wagon and in the flow

i think i'm back on the wagon again. so far, i ran twice this week. not very far nor very fast, but nonetheless, i was pounding the pavement, which is what really matters. it couldn't have been a nicer day for it. the air was crisp with a slight chill in the breeze, and nary a cloud wandered wanton on the blue canopy above. i ran out to the tree covered trails where the shade abounds and a creek cuts smoothly through, sidewinding by with such languor that it lured me in with effortless ease. i stepped off the trail and sat by the flowing water for quite a while. it's a piece (albeit a very small piece) of old florida out there -before the bulldozers and development; prior to the boom, the bubble and the pop; shaded from the shady commissioners, mayors, realtors and developers who make deals to increase construction and destroy another habitat, another slice of sanity in the midst of this crazy world. but the water flows nonetheless. forest debris, sand, and pebbles are all carried along by the small currents that show up at times as liquid lines, shadows from the sun revealing the delicate dance of an ineffable, inexorable essence...

i ran back home and resolved to continue running.

cynical christian

my brother asked me if a christian should be cynical. i'm not sure i know the answer to that. i have a christian friend who is cynical about everything regarding christianity. he seems to hate the church, almost everyone in it, the way they preach, the way they talk or don't talk, their hypocrisy, their interests, their lack of interest, the music, their emphases, their outreach, their lack of oureach, ... well, you get the idea. granted, the guy has some legitimate points. but i remember something the pastor said from my old home church that was quite profound (and believe me, those moments were few and far between - there i go with my cynicism!). he said something along the lines that if you find a perfect church, don't go in because you'll ruin it. he makes a valid point here. i think if we include ourselves in our cynicism, then maybe we're engaging in nothing more than a bit of realism. however, when we're somehow absent from that equation, then perhaps there's a pride problem.

vulture hats and visibility

so i'm sitting on the couch at my favorite coffee shop today, grading papers when... in struts a rather rotund chap donning a vulture hat (yes, the very same kind as in the photo here - but don't let the attractive lady distract you from the explicit absurdity). all loungers stopped what they were doing and let their eyes follow this somewhat strange fellow as he made his way to order a coffee. i initially thought he was a hired clown about to perform in the courtyard or at a local party, but when i looked at his face as he walked by, i realized this was probably not the case. instead, i perceived in him an emptiness of sorts. though i think he took some satisfaction in the stares he received, there seemed to be a vortexual vacuity behind his eyes. he walked by me, made his way out the door and sat at the rot iron table by the window. i was sitting next to the glass, so i occasionally observed him during the next hour. i noticed that he made sure to meet the eyes of everyone who glanced his way. i couldn't tell if he was looking for a fight or recognition or both, but he certainly intended to provoke a response. he sat outside for quite a while chain smoking and occasionally falling asleep. i wonder if perhaps the man is normally so invisible to the world that this is his way to reappear, to get the looks, the stares, the attention that he needs to verify his existence. despite the dormant look in his eyes, it seems to me quite an ingenuous attempt.