perfection, agility and humility

perfection: the highest degree of proficiency, skill or excellence

"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." -Jesus

I remember when I first realized that I was a half-way decent runner. It was during a health class in community college where the instructor required us to run a 1.5 miler. I smoked everyone; even the black guy. A woman in the class told me afterwards that I should run in real races.

The next test was flexibility. We had to twist ourselves around and push a little widget as far as we could across some sort of measuring device. It looked to me like many of the students were cheating by using their wrists or the momentum of their twist to push it further. When it was my turn, I refused to stoop to such levels... but somewhere down inside I also knew I had to make up for my terrific run. So I did horribly on the flexibility test. When the instructor asked if I wanted to do it again, as she did with everyone, I declined. For some reason, I didn't want to shine too brightly. And so my failure here would bring equilibrium to reality and leave me in the lackluster state I was before. With this perspective, perfection was not an option, and the only remedy was self inflicted humility.

The other end of the spectrum, of course, would have been to milk my achievement on the track for all it was worth in a narcissistic tirade. Although, more socially acceptable, my response was proably no more healthy. I would have responded well had I done my best yet not let it go to my head. Yet how to attain such balance is the question. Perhaps balance is indicative of wholeness which may be a better goal to strive for than "the highest degree of excellence". It's also probably closer to what Jesus meant in the quote above. "Teleios" is the Greek word used by the New Testament writer here, which carries connotations of completeness, wholeness, maturity. It seems to me then that striving for perfection has at least two possible paths: 1) competition to be the best 2) a healthy and humble walk between extremes.

rotties and reveries

So I’m running and I hear a dog bark. My first instinct? Look around. Look for water, a climbable tree, a fence, a ditch, a heavy branch, an abandoned bike, an open car door, a knife, a gun, or a vortex of some sort. Sounds extreme, I know. But I have my reasons, largely stemming from being mauled by 2 hell hounds (aka rottweilers) 7 years ago while jogging. It was probably my only real near death experience. I mean I’ve had close calls while driving and other minor sh#t like that, but these beasts tore me to the ground. I was expecting my throat to be ripped open any second, and I literally thought to myself, “This is a horrible way to die.” But somehow I survived (divine intervention, I’m convinced) with only about 9 bites to the major defense areas (arms, legs, buttocks). Nonetheless, seven years later, the sound of a bigger dog barking sends my mind into a state of alertness as I weigh out my options to avoid another such encounter. But…then there’s the side of me when I’m running with my extendable steel baton that desires another chance at fight or flight, hoping this time, with the odds evened out a bit, that I would choose the former. I fantasize while running sometimes about beating the hell out of a pit bull or a rotty (I hate that word – it makes them sound so cuddly). I come running to the rescue of a child or elderly victim. One of the beasts attaches itself to my arm while I break the jaw of the other. The pain only spurs on my anger as I leap into the lake and drown the animal in full view of its redneck owner who comes out to see what’s going on. Seeing one of his dogs with a split open head and the other one floating in the water incites him to come after me in a blind rage. But my fist meets his face before he can even step into the water. A nerdowell is down for the count and his bastard pit bulls will never menace the free world again…. Okay, okay, I’m going a little far with this fantasy. Maybe instead of “prometheus spark” this blog should be dubbed “Walter Mitty’s Musings.” But perhaps fantasy can be helpful when dealing with posttraumatic stress. After all, with such fantasies we recreate the situation but with a positive end. But then again, I don’t know… maybe it’s unhealthy. Maybe someone can help me out with this.

epcot and expectations

i went to epcot today for my wife's birthday. she, myself and two of her friends didn't do any of the rides. we simply walked around the "world" three times drinking beers, sampling food (food and wine festival), and taking odd pictures of ourselves with the timer on the camera. we had a blast. there was no agenda except thoughts of where we could uniquely place the camera in the next country to capture another unique or funny photo. it's interesting how taking the expectations out of epcot made it a much more enjoyable experience.