Doubtless, at one time or another, you've wondered about the etymology of cuss words. How did they come into being? What do they actually mean? What's the history of their usage? Well, dream with me for a moment about the potential of a malediction without meaning or etymology? That's right...what if someone created a cuss word as a substitute for the real thing because, I don't know, maybe he/she has a young child in front of whom it would be inappropriate to drop an 'F' bomb. I know what you're thinking, it's already been done-- dang, darn, flippin', crap, gosh, etc. True enough, but each of these neutered naughties was modeled after a prototype. My suggestion, nay my proposal, is an expletive with an original flair. One that conveys the fullness of foulness, yet retains a uniqueness all its own. One that is so multifunctional it could be used as a general curse when you stub your toe or as a moniker for the moron that cut you off as he tossed his cigarette out the window (thereby leaving his litter on the ledge of your windshield wiper). If I may, let me introduce the inception of such an invective. I hereby present to you....DINGLE SCHNITZ. Laugh initially if you must, but once you begin to slur it on a regular basis, I trust you will find it most gratifying. It flows nicely off the tongue, and when used as a vocative, the proclitic on the second syllable of the first word seems to glide on to the next with such natural annoyance that satisfaction is assured. I give you this word for free. It is my gift to an angry, guilt ridden world. Use it liberally. There are no consequences.
May 21, 2009
DINGLE SCHNITZ
Doubtless, at one time or another, you've wondered about the etymology of cuss words. How did they come into being? What do they actually mean? What's the history of their usage? Well, dream with me for a moment about the potential of a malediction without meaning or etymology? That's right...what if someone created a cuss word as a substitute for the real thing because, I don't know, maybe he/she has a young child in front of whom it would be inappropriate to drop an 'F' bomb. I know what you're thinking, it's already been done-- dang, darn, flippin', crap, gosh, etc. True enough, but each of these neutered naughties was modeled after a prototype. My suggestion, nay my proposal, is an expletive with an original flair. One that conveys the fullness of foulness, yet retains a uniqueness all its own. One that is so multifunctional it could be used as a general curse when you stub your toe or as a moniker for the moron that cut you off as he tossed his cigarette out the window (thereby leaving his litter on the ledge of your windshield wiper). If I may, let me introduce the inception of such an invective. I hereby present to you....DINGLE SCHNITZ. Laugh initially if you must, but once you begin to slur it on a regular basis, I trust you will find it most gratifying. It flows nicely off the tongue, and when used as a vocative, the proclitic on the second syllable of the first word seems to glide on to the next with such natural annoyance that satisfaction is assured. I give you this word for free. It is my gift to an angry, guilt ridden world. Use it liberally. There are no consequences.
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